already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
