so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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