White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Barsexuality is the new black.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
