friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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