I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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