Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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