carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
