Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize