i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
