I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
