You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
