I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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