Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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