around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
