anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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