Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
