I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
