I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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