i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
smell my finger.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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