Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
