Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
