"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The beer is more important than you right now.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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