So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
