I'm so fucking centered right now
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
