well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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