What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
