i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
