I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
