my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
