i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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