Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize