I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
