3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
