my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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