i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
