That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
