My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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