I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
