...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
