I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
