Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize
