We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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