just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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