Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize
