I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
