I'm lost and stupid without you.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
