So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
