There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
