she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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