This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
