The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
