So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
