if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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