For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
