Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
