No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
