Cold hands, warm shart.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
