I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
