On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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