I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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